Reservations Agent Wankers

Buenos dias my dear readers! How is Summer treating you? Are you soaking up the local culture in Benidorm in Paddy O'Leary's Irish bar, eating the traditional cuisine of Yorkshire Pudding, partaking in a traditional Catalonian quiz night of Only Fools and Horses quotes? Thought so you bunch of chavs.  Today's blog is a behind the scenes look at a select group of wankers on £15k a year (but they get 20% off on Upper Crust in Manchester Airport so they keep reminding us) . Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Reservations Call Centre Agents! You ever booked a ticket to Manchester and ended up in Manchester, New Hampshire, USA and wondered why you can't get Lancashire hot pot or spot a Corrie  star? You ever wanted to fly to Dublin and spoke to soneone who didn't understand your accent and ended up with a pot luck trip to Durban or Dubai?  These are the tosspots in question.

Before anyone gets offended by this post, this is a job I have done and actually quite enjoyed, and 99.9% of the people were nice too, in fact I'll go as far to say it's the most unpretentious, fun office I've ever worked in. It's outside the office where the wankerishness occurs though.

There are 2 areas for reservations agents to display tool traits in the manner of a peacock spreading its tail to pull a peahen. The first is on social networking sites (as per), the second is of course the airport.

Social network is the breeding ground of lunacy and tool behaviour. Whether it's some slag wanting to show off her Jeremy Kyle baby with the tagline 'feeling blessed' next to it or someone trying to earn sympathy likes like some slag saying her Jeremy Kyle baby's dad didn't get it a birthday card, Fakebook is one way of losing friends and influencing people to laugh at you. On Fakebook, they will act all mysterious about their role, leading people on to think they're a pilot for Ryanair or a trolley dolly for Emirates. Job title- 'works for an airline'. Status updates 'dead after working nights', 'flight delays don't you just hate them', 'woo discount at the airport #perksofthejob'. On Twatter they will hashtag #avgeek to try and get in with plane spotters. They will even have the audacity to set up a Pprune account, out of their depth amongst PILFs and blokes called Nigel. This mediocre job is their passport to a perceived glamorous life.

At the airport, the desperation really comes out. Like a scrawny blackbird fighting over chips with a pack of angry seagulls, the reservations agent wanker is really struggling. No longer hiding behind his computer but faced with being bottom of the list of the ID90 travel, even below the first officer's grandma, he/she is getting agitated, their power slipping. They wave their works ID in the face of everyone in the airport but they all know it's a blag airside pass and doesn't have the same magical qualities. When Mr Reservations gets denied boarding for his cheapo flight, he manages to find time in between ranting on Facebook to go to Costa Coffee and wave his ID at the surly Polish bird serving to get his 20p off his coffee.

To summarise:

1) Book flights online so you don't have to speak to these people
2) If you work in Costa, spit in their drinks
3) Even the baggage handlers have a more glam life