Men get such a bad press for being users and players, but guess what, some women are just as bad. I hate seeing people being blatantly used, especially when it's for financial gain. So gentlemen, let me just give you a friendly warning of some wolves in sheep's clothing who have infiltrated the airline industry! Some of these gals have stacked shelves and robbed from the pound shop in a previous life, yet have tried to transform themselves to try and bag a PILF. I'm a fabulous judge of character though, and can see through a seemingly innocent disguise. Read my first case study and whatever you do, don't tell any trolly dollies your mother's maiden name and your PIN number!!!!
Case study 1- Fat Arse babytraps Desperate and Dateless
We always work with someone who irritates us, and Fat Arse was no exception. However, some people may have ugly personalities and a fit body, while some have a hideous face but a generous nature. Fat Arse had no redeeming features whatsoever. She was what Paris Hilton would call a Hungry Tiger; in other words a leech, a gold-digger. When I first met Fat Arse, I was taken in by her seemingly friendly personality and felt quite sorry for her. She battled with her weight, her 'tache and was the wrong side of thirty yet had nothing to show for it. While we chatted, the discussion turned swiftly to flight deck and who was single. Whoa there! I now had her sussed. She didn't strike me as a floozie at first due to absence of style and cleavage, she looked more the type to bake cakes for the pilots, not shag their brains out, but that's a wolf in sheep's clothing for you. Once she had some targets in sight, she began to gradually change. Her regional accent was replaced by an affected posh voice, her council estate roots were glossed over, the fact that she left school with no qualifications and was thick as pigshit was never mentioned again. The weight fell off, her moustache waxed, hair dyed, but she still looked like Olive from On the Buses. A lot of people saw through her deception and her desperate vibes as she threw herself at various pilots, none of which would be considered a PILF. She even lapsed one night and screwed cabin crew, a particularly ugly specimen at that, a straight Overcompensator. Fat Arse's biological clock was ticking and the pounds were piling on again, fast action was needed...
As a stroke of luck would have it, an influx of fresh meat arrived at The Airline, potential suitors to impregnate Fat Arse, marry her and clear her of her credit card debt. It was still a minefield though, one even stood her up! However, their eyes met across a crowded baggage carousel. A new arrival who fit into the Desperate and Dateless category was like a lamb to the slaughter. The only time this guy had ever been kissed before was at a Pull a Pig contest at Chicago's bar. They fell in love, him relieved to finally get chatted up, her relieved that her debts would finally be paid and she had a cash machine for life. Now, the poor fool has been babytrapped and unlikely to leave the evil clutches of Fat Arse.
Gentlemen, let this be a cautionary tale. If you too are desperate and dateless, don't let people know this, especially not ruthless hosties who see you as a walking cash machine.
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