Long time no see!

Hello my fellow Mile High Clubbers- I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this wee blog! I've been extremely busy the last 6 months with other projects and enjoying my 'normal' job, but now the time has come to kickstart the blog again as I have remembered some hilarious tales from my flying days thanks to my friends on Facebook. Don't worry, names will be changed to protect the innocent- don't wanna make you guys (in)famous now do I?

Ok, now I've introduced you to the different breeds of cabin crew, let's start at the very beginning- training. It was the beginning of summer and was the complete opposite to what the glamorous life of a cabin crew is about. You see, it was in a nondescript town with a high crime rate in the South of England, famous for its ugly 60s architecture. It is then I realised that this job was not to be as glamorous as I was led to believe. The glory days of aviation had long gone, with budget airlines causing air travel to be like a glorified bus service. With the great unwashed (otherwise known as Benefit Scum) now being able to afford flights, and thinking it's their right, not a privilege to be able to fly, the target audience of the airlines consisted of stags, hens, roughnecks, immigrants, deportees- the lot. And with this new 'friendly face' of passenger, they had to downgrade the staff to go with it. This was evident when I turned up on my first day to train- these air hosts and hostesses looked as if they had been recruited on the Chatsworth Estate! Bleached extensions, size 18 arses shoved into pencil skirts bursting at the seams, an extensive vocabulary of 'c*nt' and 'tw*t' combined with an indepth knowledge of Jordan (the glamour model, not the country), a 22 year old with a 5 year old kid (you do the math!), I held on to my purse with great fear as I thought I was going to be mugged by these delinquents. I thought I'd arrived at the wrong place- where were the model like stewardesses and super groomed gay hunks? Had I arrived at some outreach programme for the local council estate? After enquiring at the hotel reception, I had indeed arrived at the cabin crew training course. I shivered with fear. Not only was I to spend 4 weeks training with these inbreds, I spied a notice on reception saying 'we rent rooms by the hour'. Delinquents and prostitutes- classy.
Somehow, I was scared I made the wrong decision and regretted not taking the bank job I was offered....